دیمآ سآن

Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not

But, at best, I can say I'm not sad

'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have...

But I have it

Yeah, I have it...

Dear God, please, hear me out
I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached out and said hello
I bet You're wondering

Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressing all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have
No excuse to give you, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls I been avoiding
Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip
Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips
Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Don't know what's around the bend
Don't know what my future is
But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm gettin' old, and I need something to rely on

So, tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm gettin' tired, and I need somewhere to begin...

#mood

​somewhere only we know

There's too much that's going on, i don't know what to do
Paralyzed by options in this world, can't pick and choose, yeah
Everybody's life is on display including you
Yet i feel everyday is just the same stuck in a loop

I need some variety
I'm sick of this anxiety
I'm sick of this society
They make us feel a rivalry
Compare ourselves to others
But we all got different mothers
We were raised in different structures
So we're different, it's no wonder
I just want a great life
Something where i feel like i just didn't waste time
Something i look back and say that was a great time
'cause man i just hate when the years pass by the wayside, yeah

I'm so lost inside
And i need a little time to find
Who i am in this life
I will find a way to feel alive

I'm so lost inside
And i need a little time to find
Who i am in this life
I will find a way to feel alive

Feel alive!
Feel alive!
I'm so lost inside
And i need a little time to find who i am inside

I’ve been dealin’ with some things like every human being
من با بعضی چیزها مثل هر انسان دیگه ای برخورد کردم

And really didn’t sleep much last night
و واقعا به اندازه ی کافی دیشب نخوابیدم

I’m lookin’ for the map to hope
دارم تو نقشه دنبال امید میگردم

You seen it?
تو می‌دونی کجاست؟

I get scared when I walk on these stages
وقتی روی صحنه قدم میزارم میترسم

I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah
به جمعیت نگاه میکنم و صورت های زیادی رو میبینم

That’s when I start to get anxious
همون موقعه که مضطرب میشم

That’s when my thoughts can be dangerous
همون موقعه که افکارم میتونن خطرناک باشن

That’s when I put on my makeup
همون وقته که ماسکمو میزنم

And drown in self-hatred, forget what I’m sayin’ and-
و تو نفرت از خودم غرق میشم و یادم می‌ره دارم چی میگم و

Where’d the beat go?
چیزی که گفتمو فراموش کن، و

Ohh

Ain’t that somethin’
حال کردی؟

Even if you hate it
I'll make it feel like you're in it, though

حتی اگه ازش متنفر باشی
یه کاری میکنم حس کنی انگار توشی

You call me what you wanna
but never call me forgettable
هر چی دوست داری صدام کن
ولی هیچ وقت نگو فراموش شدنیم

Leave you deep in thought
I could never swim in the kiddie pool
تو رو تو افکار عمیق غرق میکنم
من هیچ وقت نمیتونم تو استخر بچه ها شنا کنم

Try to hold it underwater
but it always survives
سعی میکنیم زیر آب نگهش داریم
ولی همیشه زنده میمونه

Then it comes up outta nowhere
like an evil surprise
بعد از یه جای نامعلوم پیداش میشه
مثل یه غافلگیری شیطانی

Then it hovers over you
to tell you millions of lies
بعد دورت پرسه میزنه
تا بهت میلیون ها دروغ بگه

You don't relate to that?
Must not be as crazy as I am
منظورم رو نمیفهمی؟
حتما به اندازه من دیوونه نیستی

The point I'm makin' is the mind
is a powerful place
حرف من اینه که ذهن
یه جای قدرتمنده

And what you feed it
can affect you in a powerful way
و چیزی که به خوردش میدی
میتونه روت به شکل قدرتمندی تاثیر بزاره

It's pretty cool, right?
Yeah, but it's not always safe
خیلی باحاله نه؟
اره ولی همیشه امن نیست

-the search -NF

Now I'm aware and trapped in my thoughts

I got nightmares in my head, I fear
That the thoughts build up until I can't hear
That my mind fills up into a creature
And it haunts me somewhere much deeper

Insane, inside
The danger gets me high
Can't help myself
Got secrets I can't tell

I love the smell of gasoline
I light the match to taste the heat

I've always liked to play with fire
Play with fire
I've always liked to play with fire

Do you want to meet all my monsters?
Think you're tough, I know they'll drive you bonkers
Meet them once and they'll forever haunt ya

There's no heroes or villains in this place
Just shadows that dance in my headspace
Leaving nothing but phantoms in their wake (their wake)

There's parts of me I cannot hide (cannot hide)
I've tried and tried a million times (ooh)

Take a step into the havoc
Look around, this ain't even the half of it
Walking the line between panic and losing my mind
Embracing the madness
My devils they whisper in my ear
Deafening me with all my fears
I'm living in a nightmare

There's parts of me I cannot hide
I've tried and tried a million times (million times)

Cross my heart and hope to die
Welcome to my darkside

+ این آهنگ ماله منه +

از هم دیگه محافظت کردن ؟ از رویای همدیگه محافظت کردن ؟ توی سکوت مراقب هم بودن ؟

چیزای خوب رو دم ِ آخری نگین خلاصه ... :) اینقدر توی سکوت سعی نکنین اهمیت بدین... گاهی واقعا لازمه که به زبون بیارینش...

( ببخشید که نتونستم باهات بیام به مـاه ... )

Feel the rythm of the streets
Neon lights and neon dreams
Bloody fists they feel no pain
When there’s so much more to gain
Hunting season if you will
Tell me where you'd rather be
I can hardly see the moon
Hope we'll get there pretty soon


Trying so hard to release
You're out of the misery
Hold on to your wishes
If you can't hold on to me

Forgive me for letting you down
Forgive me for letting you down again
I guess I'm not strong enough
Right now

They will finally feel the flames
Flames that run down through my veins
I will make the city burn
We're not planning to return

Trying so hard to be free
To make you see what I see
Hold on to your wishes
If you can't hold on to me


Forgive me for letting you down
Forgive me for letting you down again
I guess I'm not strong enough
Right now
Forgive me for letting you down
Forgive me for letting you down again
I guess I'm not strong enough
Right now

Oh, my love, love, love
Oh, let you down
Oh, let you down
Let you down
Oh, let you down

They say I'm crazy
But the whole world has gone mad
They think I'm dangerous
I might agree with that

When everything I touch will break
Loving you is my escape
So come on give me what I crave
I want it
I want it
Do you want it?

I scare myself
With the way that I need you
There's no one else
Tell me that you can feel it too
I'd crawl through hell
If it meant that I could keep you
I scare myself
I come unraveled

When you whisper my name
My head is spinning
You make me feel insane

The moment that our skin collides
There's nothing left for me to hide
I have finally learned to fly
And I want it
I want it
Do you want it?

I scare myself
With the way that I need you
There's no one else
Tell me that you can feel it too
I'd crawl through hell
If it meant that I could keep you
I scare myself

When everything I touch will break
Loving you is my escape
So come on give me what I crave
I want it
I want it
Do you want it?

I scare myself
With the way that I need you
There's no one else
Tell me that you can feel it too
I'd crawl through hell
If it meant that I could keep you
I scare myself

I scare myself...

-I scare myself-

They say she's too hot they say she's too cold
Where she came from nobody really knows
They say she looks young but say she acts old
From everything I've heard she gets out of control
And all the boys say she was sent from the heavens
But I'm not too sure that this girl is a blessing
She's got the devils eyes and they'll cut you like a weapon
She's stuck in my mind like a bad obsession

...And they say that she's not easy no she's really complicated

Beautiful silence
Beautiful pain
We're only human
We're meant to dream

Lost in a life
Full of mistakes
We do what feels right
Then fall with no grace

Chased by the sun
Escaping flatlines
Dreams are a curse
Wake up you're alive

Oh slowly fading from the misery
I've accepted who I'm supposed to be
I've accepted who I'm supposed to see
Lady in the mirror
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
And every time I break I get stronger
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

××

Beautiful silence
Beautiful pain
Beautiful people
But we're all stained

Lost in a life
Full of mistakes
We do what feels right
Then we fall with no grace

I'mma sinner
I'mma tainted saint
I'mma savior
It's all the same

Chased by the sun
Escaping flatlines
Dreams are a curse
Wake up you're alive

Oh slowly fading from the misery
I've accepted who I'm supposed to be
I've accepted who I'm supposed to see
Lady in the mirror
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
And every time I break I get stronger
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

We're all broken, it's fate
It's the way that we're made
All the pieces are there
They just aren't in there place
So I struggle to stand
But don't ask for a hand
My pride tells me no
You're better alone
I'm uncomfortably numb
As I stuff what I've found
And I start to shut down
Freeze in front of a crowd
It's what I don't say
I don't love I don't hate
Closing my mouth and turning my face
But it's no way to live to have nothing to give
Consuming the doubt
Not letting them in
But I'm not here to win
To survive but I'm already dead
So I picked up my head
I picked up my head
I picked up my head

Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

blue as night, the ravenstag was flying
as you plucked the hyde, the beast stood crying
was it ever not enough to torment enough, cried out the blood in the veins
of the ravenstag who told me your name
i’ve started dreaming the most peculiar pictures
the blacks and whites and colors are richer
did you feel it kind enough, yes kind enough to plant the seed in my brain
of the ravenstag whispering your name
vulgar fruit, it gleams like vulgar diamonds
a picture of my own designing
wish they’d said, “beware the signs, the meats and wines of the velvet joy and the pain
of the ravenstag when he calls your name”
come into my parlor says the spider
close my eyes, the space between heartbeats grows wider
maybe i’m not brave enough or sane enough to steady the knife of the gaze
of the ravenstag as it whispers my name
morning’s come and the ravenstag’s behind me
i’m a crimson stain and no wind can dry me
is an enemy enough to keep the love of a monster that swallows and maims
the same ravenstag who knows my name?

With every step we take, we get further away
From everything we need to reach harmony
For all of us who won′t linger on to pretend
And everyone who follows their dreams

Run away
From the weights that keep you cornered
Find a way to take back what is yours

- Illusion

All these pieces do not fit in my cosmic self
Overthinking everything
Inconvenient, unexpected sounds that call
For my strained reaction
My own occupier
Reset and rewire

lunacy-

Will this lunacy allow me to remember who I am?

Can you see me? Am I still here?
Tell me not to give in
Can you hear me?
Is it time to walk again to that place in silence?
Go back to the shadows

SOEN - Lunacy

اصلا احتیاج دارم دیگه بریم نیایم
یه چند ماه از زندگی رسید نخوایم...

×

بهت همه گندامو بگم بشنوی و یه دونه چرا نگی
اکه رد اشکو تو چشام زدی
یه جوری که خرد نشم بیفته نگاهت زمین

بذار ما هم فک کنیم به چشمت آدمیم

×

بهت احتیاج دارم بیا لااقل وقتی خوشحالم بیا :)

تا از پشت بوم نیفتادم بیا تا وقتی وقت دارم باشم بیا

×

بیا دست بنداز دوره گردنم بلند بخند به جوک مسخره ام
انقدی خاطرمو جمع کن از خودت
ببینم بهت هر چی حرف بود تو دلم زدم

باشه ولی این آهنگش عالی بود +

کامل این آهنگ +

ساند کلود ِ کاملش +

Mirror, tell me something,
Tell me who's the loneliest of all?

Mirror, tell me something,
Tell me who's the loneliest of all?
Fear of what's inside of me;
Tell me can a heart be turned to stone?

Mirror, mirror, what's behind you?
Save me from the things I see!
I can keep it from the world,
Why won't you let me hide from me?

Mirror, mirror, tell me something,
Who's the loneliest of all?

I'm the loneliest of all

2

Who am I to complain

My life's been spared so much pain

Born with all that I need

My comfort's all guaranteed

So what's the problem?

What's keeping me

From moving forward

It's hard to see

I should be free now

I should be fine

But the life I fought for

Still isn't mine

Some believe in fairy stories

And the ghosts that they can't see

I know that I could do so much

If I could just believe in me

Mirror, mirror

Tell me something

Can I stop my fall?

Years of scorn will leave you cold

"Forget your dreams, do what you're told"

When disapproval's all your shown

The safest place becomes alone

And isolation's

The price you pay

And every friendship

Is pushed away

But bit by bit now

A step each day

I'm slowly starting

To find my way

Some believe in fairy stories

And the ghosts that they can't see

I know that I could do so much

If I could just believe in me

Mirror, mirror

I'll tell you something

I think I might

Change it all

انیمه : rwby icequeendom

کاشکی گاهی میشد ، هم قلبم رو هم مغزم رو در بیارم بندازم آشغالی .

یکم بی کلام گوش کنیم :

1 + LIT

2 + Bunny

3+ Lost My Pieces

چرا برام مهم نیست افکار بقیه

من از خودم میپرسم آیا مرگ پایان بدیه؟

وقتی بمیرم بعدش یه خاطره ام

یا یه آگاهی تو جهان

چرا من شب ها هیچوقت آروم نخوابیدم

نمیدونم توو خوابم چی دیدم

بهم میگن این سوال ها جواب نداره

ولی صدای تو سرم نمیخواد بزاره

عوض شم اما کاش میشد چی شد

روح اسیر زندگی شد، ترس

من رو یه روز داشت میکشت

زل زدم توو چشم هاش و بدنم خشک شد

و بعد ساختم اش بهترین دوستم

تاریکی شیرینه من فراری از روزم

فراری از روزم

چرا برام مهم نیست چی میشه فردا

انگار میدونم راهمه پیدا

حتی وقتی بودم گم

حتی وقتی تصویرمه تو آینه گم

چرا نمیاد بچگیام به یادم

انگار اون موقع بودم من یه آدم دیگه

فقط میدونم حس میکردم آزادم

یه روز همه چیز رو از من میگیرن

یه روز تک تک آدم ها میمیرن

من دشمنم خودم یا خداست

خونه چیه اصلا خونه کجاست

چرا یادم نمیاد هر چی فکر میکنم

من بیشتر از این جلدم این رو خوب میدونم

اما نکنه دارم اشتباه میکنم

نکنه من هیچی نباشم و ندونم

من زیاد فکر میکنم اما چیزی نمیدونم

welcome to my life

وقتی میگم هرچیزی ژاپنیش قشنگ تره !

آهنگ as it was

آهنگ Middle of the Night

ولی این کلیپ و خوندنش حالمو خوب کرد...

ولی آهنگ change کلا یچیز دیگس . خط به خطش زیباس و قابل درک ...!

یکی دیگه از آهنگهای خوب :")

I'm kinda twisted
so keep your distance
be a ghost

Yeah, see I'm inventive
but quite the menace
you ain't know?

×

Diagnosed with OCD
what does that mean?
Well, gather 'round

That means 
I obsessively obsess 
on things I think about

That means 
I might take a normal thought 
and think it's so profound

Ruminating
fill balloons up full of doubts

Do the same things
if I don't, I'm overwhelmed 

Thoughts are pacing
they go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's so draining
let's move onto something else
fine

leave me alone

Talkin' to the voices in my head
they make me think twice

Tellin' me it doesn't mean 
it's wrong because it feels right

I'm scared that one day 
I'll wake up and wonder where'd the time go